Saints
The doink story of the Saints in 6 chapters.
Chapter 1
I've watched this footage over and over again, and I am no closer to understanding what the intention of this play design was - it truly is a sight to behold. In a 7-7 4th quarter tie with less than 2 minutes to play, the Saints break the huddle and align in an exotic split alignment with the center (note - the Saints were using a longsnapper/specialist for punting, but not for field goals at this time) and 2 other linemen to the right and 5 linemen to the left and a back behind the left flank. Meanwhile, punter/holder Tom Blanchard and tragic protagonist of this weird play, Rich Szaro, are lined up behind the ball and to the left in a shockingly normal alignment for a right-footed kicker - which Szaro was not. Szaro was impressively ambidextrous for a naturally left-footed kicker, so given the chaos at the line, we'll call this normal. Then the Saints shifted into a truly vanilla field goal alignment. The architect of this play thought it'd be clever to show a right-footed attempt (for the shock value) then flip to Szaro's natural left-footed alignment.
Being a kicker in the NFL is hard. Being an ambidextrous kicker at a professional level is an incredible feat that deserves to be commended. Being asked to invert your pre-play calculus in the span of about 6 seconds is an impossible ask that leads to a very predictable outcome.
Chapter 2
We haven't been able to find video of this snow-plagued game from the end of the 1983 season, but the official game summary lists this 24 yard attempt in the final 2 minutes of the game as a missed doink. The miss wouldn't impact the final score, as the Saints wouldn't sniff the endzone (or the uprighht) all game.
Chapter 3
In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the NFL moved the Saints' home opener to their opponent's stadium in East Rutherford. It was a game where the score felt secondary to the tragedy back in Louisiana. John Carney’s missed 29-yarder remains a quiet, somber footnote to a season where the Saints were a team without a home.
Chapter 4
The Saints played their penultimate home game of 2005 in Tiger Stadium in the months after Hurricane Katrina. This doink here is a non-story, as even a "home" loss to their division rival Panthers feels unimportant.
Chapter 5
These were different times for kickers, it seems. Poor Taylor Mehlhaff was cut twice by the Saints in 2008 - the first after training camp, the second after a fine performance in the 2008 NFL London game that saw Taylor doink an extra point off the upright in an otherwise clean game. There did not seem to be a disciplinary reason or injury at the heart of this decision, just this lone missed 20 yard PAT.
Chapter 6
As the clock ticked down to the final minutes of the 4th quarter, both kickers in this game had a go ahead attempt. First, immediately after the 2 minute warning, Ryan Succop kicked a 55 yarder that doinked off the upright and left the Saints in good position to strike back. After a Brees-led 2 minute drill stalled out past midfield, Kai Forbath had an opportunity to win the game with a kick of his own. It did not go well.